After mourning for Saul and enquiring of God as to what he should do, David said, "And the men of Judah came, and there they anointed David king over the house of Judah." II Samuel 2:4. But David was not accepted in Israel, only by Judah, his tribe. Yet he did not force himself upon the other tribes of Israel for seven and a half years. II Samuel 2:8-11. According to II Samuel 2:12, it was Ishbosheth, Saul's relative, who initiated some sort of confrontation with David's army: "And Abner the son of Ner, and the servants of Ishbosheth the son of Saul, went out from Mahanaim to Gibeon." II Samuel 2:12.
War ensued. "Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker." II Samuel 3:1. All knew that David was promised the kingship, for after Abner, Ishbosheth's general, was accused by Ishbosheth of sleeping with one of Saul's concubines, he said to Ishbosheth: "So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the LORD hath sworn to David, even so I do to him; To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba." II Samuel 3:9-10. Abner was good on his word to Ishbosheth.
"And Abner had communication with the elders of Israel, saying, Ye sought for David in times past to be king over you: Now then do it: for the LORD hath spoken of David, saying, By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel out of the hand of the Philistines, and out of the hand of all their enemies. And Abner also spake in the ears of Benjamin: and Abner went also to speak in the ears of David in Hebron all that seemed good to Israel, and that seemed good to the whole house of Benjamin."
II Samuel 3:17-19. So, for over seven years, Abner, Ishbosheth, and the rest of the nation outside Judah were all in rebellion against God's choice of king. Unlike Abraham Lincoln and the American disunion of 1861, David did not instigate a war to "unite" the nation in order to enforce acceptance of his rule by the entire country. He waited, and the time eventually came when the other tribes of Israel accepted him.
"Then came all the tribes of Israel to David unto Hebron, and spake, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh. Also in time past, when Saul was king over us, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD said to thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be a captain over Israel. So all the elders of Israel came to the king to Hebron; and king David made a league with them in Hebron before the LORD: and they anointed David king over Israel. David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years. In Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years over all Israel and Judah."
II Samuel 5:1-5. The chronology of the bible indicates the year in which David was accepted by the rest of the tribes would have occurred approximately 1000 B.C.
David's rise to power after his anointing by the prophet Samuel took at least a decade, probably close to twenty years, if you add the seven and a half years it took the other tribes to accept him after Judah installed him in office. He fought many battles for the sole reason that God intended him to be king, but he instigated none of those battles. They started because of those who refused to accept God's choice.
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